Part 7 - Our Family - ShantiShantosh

How I Saved My Marriage?

That night, was the most memorable day in my life.. It was the 6th month and 23rd day...!

You need to do what you can to make yourself happy. This is vitally important. You need to make sure your spouse knows that you value and encourage his own happinedd as well. Feeling appreciated and loved. Having honest discussion and checking in on our marriage consistently is a real gift. Now we have a strong marriage that I believe in with my whole heart. We owrk together, raised our twin sons together, and we are friends...

Most important, my wife is doing her chambering... She is also composing her album, violinist. And, she is still my wife. And, she endures her freedom. We work on our happiness constantly and i am better on it. My wife knows all about the book and is grateful I had it at the time. We actually laugh about it now. When my wife started to disagree, i will pick the book. And she will start to laugh, "Oh, no. He is doing it again." Nowadays, my wife is always looking at 500 Lovemaking Tips. I think she is planing for another set of twins..." I will update you later about that.

I would like to comment a few things about this book, Save My Marriage Today!. This book manage to save my life in less than a month. Waterman's saving your marriage is more helpful if you see your relationship flying off the rails and want to stop that dangerous pitfalls, common mistakes, that can kill a marriage or fuel divorce and offers checklists, exercises, examples, etc so that you can "check in" with yourself and your relationship to make sure both are happy.

My friends love Amy's book. She is more definitely a marriage and relationship expert that will tell it to you straight, but she always has your LONG TERM happiness in mind. Oh, I was fortunate that i had this book to save my marriage and change my wife's perception about marriage.

All this requires some faith, but truly, in order to have a chance to get back a truly healthy LONG Term relationship, you have to level the playing field. One partner can not be seen by the other as a door mat or weakling.

Here is the best advice i can give. I know where you are right now and I know it can be very painful, but do not beg, promise you'll change, promise your ex your undying love on a silver platter or put your life on hold because of the situation. I know this feels right sometimes and you feel like you have to fix this immediately, but it is not and you don't.

All of this will make you unattractive your spouse and they would want to flee more. Don't follow them around, text them, and email them constantly or rmind them of the old time. Because this too will look desperate and they will get tired of listening to you and will want to stop the noise sooner. This means moving further away from you.

You absolutely have to stop feeling desperate, demeaning behaviour eventhough it is normal and understandable. These behavior gives your power away and deteriorated the relationship further.

So instead, you need to act and believe that you are determined that you are going to be just fine. you are going to see old friends, take up old hobbies and enjoy your solo time. This is going to be difficult at first, but you must do it. Don't ask about your partner's activities and don't volunteer yours.

But, be friendly, casual, and matter of fact, as though you are just rolling with the punches and moving on the best you can. You want to create the happy go lucky, light hearted version of yourself that your partner would endure. This is vital.

You don't remind them. Allow them to remember. Don't beg and try to persuade. Allow them to understand. Create opportunities where you lover can understand you. Give them the chance to think about the past. Make them sense it. Show it to them. Dont nag or beg them. Show them how much you love them. Demonstrate your feeling but dont embarrase them. Respect them and acknowledge their freedom. Give them the space they need to breathe. Share with them when they are gloomy. Give them a choice and help them make a decision. Make sure your dont irritate them. Understand their body language.

I am not the expert and you'll need to read all of the techniques. What I've given you is the tip of the iceberg, but there is a sea to dive. But, this will get you started and give you an idea of where I am going. Amy Waterman's wonderful book can give you much more concreate information (depending on your situation and where you are now) on how to take this step by step guide to get the results you want (a road map or a recipe to get it back on track if you will, even if you are the only one involved currently). At the very least, check out the free first step video or take adventage of Amy's free e course. But, don't sit stagnant hoping it will work itself out. This could've been disastrous for me if I had done that. Both of these are free and will help steer you in the right direction and support you. Good luck! Never give up, youdeserve to be happy, but sometimes you have to know to play the game and that's a learned skill...

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Part 6 - Happily Ever Afer!!!!

How I Saved My Marriage?

Finally, the day arrived....

I just came back from work. I collected the mail from the mailbox. I saw another note on the table. It stated that my wife will be back ak little late tonight, about 7 pm.

Now, it is 5 pm. I think i will prepare dinner for my wife today...! I text her that I will prepare dinner for her.

I prepared a candle dinner for her. Only for the two of us. Exclusively....!!!

I was waiting for her. She came about half past 7. She was very tired, but excited about the dinner. She excused herself to shower. I waited patiently.

I place the letter on the table, so that it will be visible to her when she takes her place on the table.

My wife and i were about to have our candle light dinner in our house.. and I was excited. She came down and stood beside the table. I welcome her to take her place. She offered me a smiled in return. She was very beautiful.

She had papers in her hand. My heart started to pounded so hard that it was very difficult for me to breathe. She looked at me and said the lawyer gave the letters, we need to be in the court next week. I was breathless. I just nodded and looked back at her. She was looking into my eyes. She raised her eyebrows and said "Shall I throw them away?"

I nodded again. There was tears in her eyes. I walked to her. And I hugged her. She said sorry for a thousand times. And we kissed for the first time... And then, i handed her another letter, she looked at me...

I said " You should keep this one."

She read them and she started crying and crying and endless of sorry. I reminded her that the dinner is getting cold. And we had our candle light dinner. She was sitting on my lap. That was the happiest day in my life. I felt the pain in my heart just left. I felt very light.. My mind was released.

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Part 5 - I was Pursued......!

How I Sved My Marriage?





I took some time alone to sort things out. I was reading books. I took out our wedding album. I was going through the pictures and felt very good. I picked one photo, one pose that I loved the most.

I blew the picture and hang it in our living room.. and a few in my room. Iwas enjoying what i did. I got a chance to show her that i still want her back. A few days after receiving the roses, my wife called, as the date fof the concert is approaching. She sounded a little perplexed. Weirder still, she was concern and confused about me reactions. She asked me whether will we be going to the concert.

I told her that i have the ticket booked on friday night and even the hotel. Just waiting for her to pack her bag and follow me to the concert. There was a silence. A dead silence. Then a colder tone replaced the earlier one and my wife excused herself.

I wasn't sure about it. But, i tried to ignore it. But, i was extremely surprise to receive a phone call from her. I think it is one of the greatest breakthrough.

The next morning, i saw a note on the table. It stated that I will come with you to India.

I was really on the moon. This is the first time in my life I will be going out with my wife. Cloud 9 is below my feet. I was already flying before i get on the flight.

We were in the airport. She smiled at me. I smiled back and remained calm. She said thank you. I smiled at her back.

Truthfully, I was feeling happy today. I was honest with myself, I loved him and did not want a divorce. I believe marriage is forever. I believed this women was my soulmate. I started to feel confident in myself. I have a feeling that we will make it. our marriage will be successful.

Before our trip, I read the book page to page twice. I even have a short note

The book was very big on not giving your power away, yet communication fully with an open heart, which is what I vowed to do. It stresses that you should be friendly, light hearted and happy with yourself. Being happy with yourself is a huge key, because you're not going to attract the relationship you want if you yourself are miserable.

Everything you do needs to be genuine or something you are comfortable with. If you just play games, it will eventually come back to haunt you because you can't maintain a facade that is not really you.

Now, i and my wife's friend. I am happy. And i am genuinely light hearted.

Our trip was fun a time. She really enjoyed the concert. She was wearing the saree that i bought for her after out wedding. She looked gorgeous in it. I continuously with her. I never thought about our divorce. I was enjoying her company.

We had our dinner at Chennai before flying back home. She was very happy and was continuously talking about the concert. I was enjoying the conversation. That was the first we talk so much for so long after 6 months of marriage.

On Monday morning, i received another note.

Thank you very much for the great moments. I am very happy and I appreciateit from the bottom of my heart. Thank you.

Despite the technology that we have today, note writing seem to find a way to save our marriage.

But, I am running out of time. My divorce will be confirmed in 30 days.

I tried to remain calm and positive.

But, believe it or not, my wife started to initiate calls. Our new friendship is creating a fresh air, a new hope...

My wife would sometimes call when i am busy, but i need to make her feel valued. I needed him to know that I too was a valuable person with goals, hobbies and interests, which is what he loved about me in the first place. We started out just writing notes and moved on to talking in the phone during lunch breaks. One day at a time just repeating what seemed to be working - light hearted, friendly and interested.

Unbelievably, she prepared breakfast and dinner for me.

No more desperation. No more giving my power away. I held my head sky high but my heart was wide open.

Days were approaching. Our divorce date were approaching. I just keptdoing what I had been doing and things kept improving, we didn't specifically disscuss it. We just enjoyed the positive changes that began to make the relationship feel much more effortless.

So, what happened at the end?

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Part 4 - My Plan

How I Saved My Marriage?

When I am back home, believe it or not, I was not even desperate to pick the difficult dance back up. I just wanted to keep my serenity and I didn't want to take a step back.

I had a plan...

I called up my wife's friend. I talked to her. I wanted to know what is in my wives my heart. What is it that was making her to make the notorious decision.

I was suprised to know the reason... Freedom... She wants her freedom... She thinks that our marriage had tied her down. Our marriage had deprieved her from her live. She wanted to further her studies in Law. She wanted to be a great lawyer. She loves singing and playing violin. And, she wanted to make her album.

So... now i have to help her achieve her dream. I need to make her understand that she is still free to do what she wants, She can still achieve her dreams. She can still be a lawyer. She can still be a violinist. She dont need a divorce to fulfill this.

I secretly applied for her admission in Berkeley University. I was patiently waited for the reply.

Meanwhile, i tried to keep myself busy and positive. I read books that made me happy.

I also realized that there is a AR Rahman live concert in India. I was determined to get a VIP seat so that we can enjoy the concert from near. I called my friend from India who was working in SUN TV, to help me get the tickets. Once the ticket was confirmed, i get it mailed to me.

I was very excited about the concert. I order florist to send 100 roses to my house. Together with the roses, i slipped the concert ticket among the ticket.

The door bell rang and I was reading the newspaper. My wife opened the door to recieve the roses. She was surprised but when she saw the ticket, she just took it and left the ticket on the table. I was really, really dissappointed. I expected more reactions. I was more confused. She likes it or she doesn't likes it. I can understand her reaction. I grabbed the book to see if I was doing something wrong.

But, according to the Amy's book, I was sort of on the track, although my method and my tone were not as lighthearted, matter of fact, or open as the book said I should be. I remembered the road map and figured I should take a look at exactly what i should be doing. I read it again and again and again I was on track and this is what would be called my " opening move".

But, i was getting more and more tired of these game. But, I did not give up. I keep my mind positive. I was using auto suggestion and had full faith in my attempt that i will get back my wife. I dtated reading Napolean Hill to keep myself positive and keep my burning desire for my wife blazing hot.

I slept on the couch that night.

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Part 3 - Realization

How I Saved My Marriage?

When i woke up in the afternoon, i felt very light and more in control. I pick up the phone and order for my lunch. I was watching BBC.

The door bell rang.. The room service...

He passed me my lunch, and he also handed me a book by Amy Waterman.

"Mr John requested these book to be handed to you"

I requested more about Mr John, but the boy replied that Mr John had checked early in the morning. The boy also informed me that I was spending the night drinking with Mr John.

There was thousands of question running through my head. Gosh! what did i do last night. I seriously have no single clue of what happened last night.

I flip through the book, and I had a sense of realisation. I spend the afternoon reading the book in my hotel room.

The book listed things that you ABSOLUTELY MUST NOT DO in order to perserve your personal integrity and sense of power. I realize that saving my marriage requires behavior that is not in tuitive at the time. Sure, give any one a few months, and they'll realize they've been a bit desperate and probably eventually stop, but this is very hard to do when your entire world falls below your feet. Your first instinct, of course, is to stop it immediately at all costs. This often doesn't place you in your best light.

The author was brilliant at providing check lists so that you can pick out your situation and then gives you a road map to fix it. After reading the book, i saw my roadmap quickly. The journey seems several hundred miles away. But, i was determined, and i have made my mind...




I WANT MY WIFE BACK! AND, I WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET MY WIFE BACK... I LOVE HER VERY MUCH!

My trip was actually exactly what I needed. My confusion, misery and desperation no longer had a death grip on me. My get away to Singapore gave me a fresh air and a clear mind.

I HAD A PLAN....!!!

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Part 2 - Our Marriage History

How I Saved My Marriage?

Since the very beginning, my wife had checked out out marriage. She was never interested in getting married. It has nothing much to do with me. But, it has a lot to do with our culture and the idea of marriage. She can't bear the idea of being my wife.

My wife was 18 years old when we got married to me. Our was an arrange marriage. Arrange marriage are very common in Indian culture. My wife just finish her studies and shewanted to continue her studies and never wanted to get married that early. I do not know anything about this.

Additional to this, she always wanted to fall in love head on toe with a guy, before she get married. BUt her entire dreams were crushed when her parents had arranged her to marry me.

We live in the same house, we use the same room and we sleep in the same bed... but we were total strangers. I do not know anything about her, at that time. She do not want to share with me anything. She do not talk to me. And, she would treat me as though I am an invisible human being staying there.

More over, we never had sex at all, even though we were married... Not until 6 months and 23 days after our marriage.... Wow! I counted them!

One morning, she approached me, and handed me a letter. It was unbelievable. That was the first time, my wife approached me. My heart was beating faster than ever, and I was excited. As fast as my heart was beating, it stopped so suddenly, the moment I lay my eyes on the letter.

DIVORCE...!!!!

Something i know i will eventually face. I have spend sleepless night, trying to avoid this day. I wanted to be with my wife. I love her. But, she does not want to give a chance.

She went to the kitchen after handing me the letter. I was left there.. at the doorstep... My head began to explode.. and My whole day was a nightmare. I almost ran into a school boy.. I was not concentrating in meetings. I scolded my secretary.. and it was a hell day that i went through..

I needed a break..

I have put up with all her irritating attitudes.

She never respected me as a husband..

She dont even treat me as a human being..

But i was very tolerant..

I was not angry..

I never exploded..

I was patient..

I was humble...

Despite all these, i still could not save my marriage...

I just dont know how....


I book a flight to Singapore. I wondered around Singapore alone. It was i was the only one on a boat in the middle of the sea. There were so many people on the street. It ws New Year.. Everyone was celebrating, but I was wondering.. craving.

I was dining in one of the most finest restaurant in Singapore.. But i was not enjoying my meals.

I see so many things.. but my brain were not registering anything..

The only thing in my mind was.. our wedding day..our wedding day..our wedding day.. and the day i first saw her.. my wife

I do not want to let her go. I wanted her back badly in a big way. I didn't understand why i couldn't have it. All we needed was for my wife to just change her mind and accept our wedding and forget her ridiculous break up plan.

I had tried so many thing and tactics to impress my wife, but nothing had worked all these day. With day divorce letter in my hands, i wanted to get an attorney, but, i do not know whether i can win the case. Women always have an advantage to get a divorce easily compared to guys.

At this point, I was just too tired to pick up myself up and try something new or better.. Instead, i went to are bar and drank until i was carried up to my room.

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Part 1 - How I Saved My Marriage - Dumb Luck

Hi Friends,


How I Saved My Marriage?

This is one of the toughest question to answer. And, at the same time, it is one of my sweetest memories....

If you are reading this blog, you really would like to save your marriage. OR else, you would want to prevent anything from happening to your marriage. Maybe you have kids. Maybe you remember how it used to be. Maybe you realize that moving from ine household to two premanently would be both emotionally and financially devastating.

Whatever the reason, it can be done. Your marriage can be saved. You can always lead a happy married life. How did I do this? I have successfully done it! I have lived it! Within this article, I will tell you exactly how I did it. Although some of it was just really dumb luck.


Okay, so I am a consultant that travels the world. Had to expect the marriage to take a hit, yet nothing like what happened. Fighting about every little thing. Yelling, sleeping on the couch, Walking on egg-shells and that sick feeling deep in your stomach. I tried everything, every book, every friend, every MP3, and even counseling.

I was on my way to a divorce.

One day, i stumbled into a website by Amy Waterman's Free Save Your Marriage ECourse. This caught my attention because of the special reports and step by step guidance. Together with these, you are also entitled for email consultation.


After getting my hands on this ebook and reading it I started to apply what he said. There was no magic change that day, but one week later there was a dramatic transformation in my marriage...


There were no angry arguments.

There was no more sleeping on the couch.

There was No name-calling or tearing -down of each other.

My, previously sexless, marriage saw sparks of true pleasure and intimacy again.

The sick feeling was gone!

I am here to share with you that this ebook is like no other book on the market today about How to Save My Marriage Today!

All the Myths about what to do: like be a better communicator, or you can't save the marriage if your spouse isn't interested. or over time it will get better - time heals was blown away by Amy's materials.


What I liked about Amy is she really cares about your marriage. You even get a free email consultation with her along with a boat load of tools and resources including ebooks, special reports, and audio CD's- all very easy to read and easy to apply today.

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Look - I got lucky because I found this resource. It worked. I feel like this was my last chance to save my marriage.